508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
