I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
