Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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