His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Plan B is the new Plan A
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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