I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
