Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
