Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize