SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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