I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
