i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
