I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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