i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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