i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
