I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize