i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
