Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
