lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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