I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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