discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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