I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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