there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
