Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
