She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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