So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
