I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
