Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
