operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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