$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
