It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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