She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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