Me too!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
