my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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