This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
