Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
