Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
