no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
