All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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