I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
