you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
