So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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