You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
