Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
