I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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