now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
