I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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