I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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