I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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