We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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