i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
