Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
