I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
