She's JV to your varsity
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
