i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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