Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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