you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your penis caused this!
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