So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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