i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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