What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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