Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
