DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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