Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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