i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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