I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
